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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27002191">A Different Kind of "Pine"</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FOREVER_SHERLOCKED/pseuds/FOREVER_SHERLOCKED'>FOREVER_SHERLOCKED</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sherlock (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Awesome Molly Hooper, BAMF Molly Hooper, Eventual Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper, F/M, Human/Vampire Relationship, Molly Hooper is a vampire, Sherlock Holmes &amp; Molly Hooper Friendship, Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper Fluff, Sherlolly - Freeform, Vampire Bites, Vampire Molly Hooper, Vampire Sherlock, Vampire Turning, Vampires, Vamplock</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:49:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,408</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27002191</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FOREVER_SHERLOCKED/pseuds/FOREVER_SHERLOCKED</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Molly works late at Bart's Morgue and something awful happens to her on the way home. If she was in love with Sherlock Holmes before...she's now becoming attuned to a whole new level of "pining".</p><p>Submission for Sherlolly "Spooktober" 2020. Will be a multi-chapter fic.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sherlock Holmes &amp; Molly Hooper, Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Sherlolly Spooktober 2020 Challenge</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A Halloween Horror</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Molly is attacked on Halloween night, but her lapse of memory is confusing, and she makes a horrifying discovery</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Molly wakes up slowly, her cheek against the cold, dark pavement. It's the middle of the night and the moon is glowing brightly. Her head is throbbing, her neck and shoulders killed, and her vision is a bit blurred for a moment. She groans and sits up against a brick wall, realizing that she is in an alley. Looking down, she sees blood all over her shirt, gasping and immediately beginning to panic.</p><p>Was she bleeding? What happened? Had she been attacked? The last thing she remembered was working late at Bart's. It was Halloween, and everyone else had taken the night off to attend the Halloween Party that Bart's threw for staff at the nearest hotel. She went last year, and it wasn't very fascinating, she may as well have gotten overtime money. When she finally finished and went to the garage, trying to turn her car on, she had realized her battery was dead and decided to walk home. It wasn't too far, plus, for autumn it was a nice night; not too cold or too warm.</p><p>Molly remembers having a nice walk and then...pretty much nothing. Everything went black. The only thing she remembers just vaguely in the back of her mind was a struggle. She knows she was possibly mugged and fought off the attacker, but maybe she had hit her head. "Is that why I'm bleeding so much??", she wonders. Tears come to her eyes at the thought of what could have happened to her, but her clothes don't seem torn or disturbed in anyway. The only concerning thing about this is the fact that her shirt is covered in blood. "I have to get home", she murmurs and sniffles, pulling herself up. Molly finds it concerning that, for a mugging, her purse was still next to her and the contents were left unaltered. Maybe something had scared them off.</p><p>She grabs her purse and makes her way towards her home. Reaching into her pocket, she pulls out her cell phone and checks the time. "1:02am". Molly had lost three hours. Three hours that she was knocked out. Three hours of laying alone in an alley after something unimaginable had happened to her. Something she barely remembered happening.</p><p>Her phone has three missed calls and twenty-eight missed texts. Twenty-four of them were from Sherlock. Four of them were from Meena. The calls were from Sherlock, which is odd because he never calls, he prefers to text. Molly groans, wondering what the hell Sherlock could want. Suddenly, she is stumbling into her house, then tossing her purse and her phone onto the sofa. In her panic, she had even ignored poor Toby when he slinked around her ankles and meowed loudly. In fact, when she moved passed him, he had even hissed at her. Her sweet little kitten never hissed at anyone, let alone her. Maybe he smelled the scent of her attacker on her. Oh well...all Molly wanted right now was a shower; she wanted to be clean and forget about what could have happened to her.</p><p>Brushing her hair back, she realizes that even her brown locks are caked with blood, and pulls back her hand to see it covered in blood from where she touched her hair. Molly remembers taking her hair down after work; she had tied her ponytail a bit too tightly that day and it had given her a headache. Beginning to tremble, she looks down at her bloodied hand, tears still stinging her eyes. "What the hell happened to me??", she croaks.</p><p>Pushing her way into her bathroom, she flicks the light on with her cleaner hand and groans, the bright LED lights hurting her eyes. Molly finds herself in front of her mirror, and as she looks into it her eyes widen and she takes in the most unimaginable, horrific sight she has ever seen. She can't even fathom how gory she looks. If it weren't real, she definitely would have impressed her co-workers and won the best Halloween costume prize. But alas, this was real. Her entire upper body was caked in blood, including the whole right side of her brown tresses. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, and her skin was pale from blood loss. What she couldn't figure out is where the hell she was bleeding from.</p><p>Molly quickly strips naked and steps into her shower, letting the warm water hit her freezing body. That was odd, as Molly hadn't realized she was cold until now, but she's shuddering under the warm water. It caresses her head, face, and curves as she grabs a washcloth and begins scrubbing her skin raw, needing to be clean as she watches the blood swirl down the drain, dying the water bright red. </p><p>Before she knows it, Molly is curled up on the floor of her shower and sobbing heavily, wishing she just knew what happened to her. Wishing she could remember. Wishing her body would stop hurting, because her entire being hurts now.</p><p>Watching the last of the bloodied water trail down the curve of her breasts, the swell of her stomach, and the skin of her thighs to end up down the drain, her tears now join the flow in place of the blood. Molly can't help but feel alone and scared, not to mention unsure. Confusion takes over most of her emotion, behind the sadness, because for the life of her she just cannot figure out how she can't remember. There's no possible reason why she wouldn't be able to remember, except for the fact that she was in shock and she did lose a whole lot of blood. That leads her to wonder how she is even alive; it looks like she lost more than a liter! "Maybe some of it wasn't mine then...", she questions, a multitude of thoughts running through her head at once.</p><p>Once her skin is sufficiently wrinkled from the amount of time spent under the water, Molly hauls herself up and washes her hair, forgetting to do so before in her state of grief. Quickly getting that over with, she turns the water off and steps out of the shower, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her small frame. The hot mist of the bathroom makes her dizzy, so she goes into her bedroom, rummaging through her drawers for some pajamas. Toby pads into the room and immediately halts upon seeing Molly, taking a stance, and hissing at her again. Not very frightening for his tiny size, but unnerving, nonetheless.</p><p>"Tobes, I've had a horrible day, what're you hissing at? You never hiss, what's wrong baby?" She tosses her sweats and an old t-shirt on and squats down, outstretching her hand to the small feline. Molly clicks her tongue. "C'mere Toby...here kitty. What are you so skittish for?"</p><p>Toby continues to hiss and swats at her hand, just barely missing it with his small claws. "Hey! What's going on with you huh??" Molly sighs and decides to ignore him for the time being. Maybe he will settle down and he is just sensing her nerves. Standing up again she goes over to her mirror and grabs her brush to put her hair in a more tameable braid. Moving her hair to the left side, she immediately gasps and drops her brush, covering her mouth. On the right side of her neck are two big gores, mimicking what she knows to be a vampire bite. Or at least from what she has seen on telly.</p><p>Bringing her hand up, she traces the holes in her neck and swallows hard. "No way...how can this be happening...oh God this can't be happening!" she whimpers. </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I Think I'm Going To Die</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Molly faces the harsh reality that her life is over, and she is completely changed forever.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Molly panics and quickly climbs into bed, willing herself to sleep, hoping against hope that when she wakes up this will all have been a dream. Thank God she has the next day off. There is no way she could go to work like this. After a few hours of tossing and turning, she finally falls asleep.</p><p>The next morning she is awoken by a burning sensation on her face. She yelps a bit and jumps out of bed, feeling her cheeks. “What the hell!?” She curses and groans, rubbing her eyes of sleep. Suddenly the memory of what she discovered last night comes flying back into mind.</p><p>Molly rushes over to her mirror and gasps, still seeing the two fanglike gores in her neck. Except this time her reflection is fleeting, like a bad computer glitch. Tears prick her eyes as she grabs her laptop and quickly opens it. At the first sight of Google she looks up everything she can about vampires. Soon she is full on sobbing as she scrolls through the internet.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>{According to legend, once a human is bit by a vampire, they turn into a fledgling, which is a mix of mortal and vampire. This means that for a couple days the bite site will show, but the venom has already spread within their body enough to stop their heart. Since the venom is keeping them “alive” as an undead being without blood, fledglings have approximately twenty-eight to thirty days to drink human blood to complete their transformation, or else their body dies like a mortal. Fledglings will see a warped reflection of themselves in the mirror, whereas full vampires don’t have a reflection at all. </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>They will also burn in the sun, but it will not kill them unless they are full vampire, instead the sun will cause blisters. The only way a vampire can successfully counteract the sun’s curse is by wearing a pure lapis lazuli amulet, ring, or bracelet; this is because lapis lazuli is an ancient stone known to have been enchanted by witches centuries ago to counteract the sun’s effect on a vampire. </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Both fledglings and full vampires have the ability to self-heal from non-fatal wounds, the ability of superior speed, and super hearing, they also possess great strength when they choose to use it. A vampire without a daylight ring will burst into flames and be reduced to ash by the sun, if exposed long enough. Both can be killed by a white oak stake through the heart, and neither show up in photos, only live video. This is due to their mortal soul being blocked by the vampire curse. A photo captures the soul, while a video captures the body. </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>There is no telling how bloodthirsty an individual will be as a full vampire. Some can be violent, murderous creatures, and some live normal lives among humans, living on animal blood, the blood of trusted humans with consent, or human blood bags taken from hospitals to survive and curb the hunger. Even the most tame of vampires will still become bloodthirsty at the sight or smell of human blood, and few have a more human resolve and can stop themselves from attacking the person it is coming from, however that won’t stop their sudden hunger for it.}</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Molly slams her laptop shut and covers her face, crying hard. Her life is over. Literally and figuratively. She’s dead and gone, and her career will be too. How can she possibly be a vampire pathologist!? She sees blood on a daily basis! Sure, she could probably steal some blood from the blood bank, but she has never stolen anything in her life. She would feel absolutely horrible. That blood saves actual, human lives. It’s not for her to drink. And what about poor Toby? He clearly knows she’s a predator now. God, she would never eat her cute little kitten!</p><p>Suddenly feeling a bit hungry, she pushes aside the fact of what it could be and goes into her kitchen to make some eggs and toast. The sun glares through the window and hits her foot as she steps towards her stovetop. She yells out as it burns her and jumps away from it, tearing up again. Grabbing her phone, she searches online for a lapis lazuli ring. Despite the high price point, she manages to order one that is subtle and elegant looking; nothing that will stand out. Unfortunately, it will take two days to arrive.</p><p>“Great, I’m stuck in my house for two days avoiding the sun when I love the sun, my kitten hates me, and I’m already hungry. But I don’t want to think of that…oh God I don’t want to have to drink blood.” Molly shudders and groans, rubbing her face.  </p><p>She manages to grab some cereal, skirting around the sun rays and then sitting on her sofa defeatedly. She eats her cereal, but it takes a bit funny; probably another annoying side effect of being a fledgling. She wants to cry for the loss of her life, her dreams of motherhood, and the possible loss of her career. All she can muster is a feeling of depression and sadness, the worst of all losses probably being her friends. How will she ever be able to be around them again if the hunger is going to be as bad as the internet says. Hurting them isn’t in the question.</p><p>Molly wonders how her hunger would be around Sherlock. A man who she is extremely attracted to, who was beginning to almost become more than a friend to her, and now she could lose him all over again. The last thing she wants to happen is for her to injure him, or worse, not be able to control herself and turn him. She absolutely refuses. The only option she can think of is to deal with this herself. She has gotten through so many bad things on her own, and she can get through this too. “Hopefully”, she mutters.</p><p>The first thing she has to decide is crucial: does she willingly die as a partial mortal, or does she make herself a full vampire, and everything terrible that goes with that? Molly knows she doesn’t want to die, but wouldn’t that be the more honorable thing to do? She would rather die right now than ever have the possibility of hurting or even killing her own friends. That she would not survive by any means, she would stake herself if she ever did something so utterly reprehensible.</p><p>~~~~~~~</p><p>A few days go by and Molly had called out sick from work. Her lapis lazuli ring had finally arrived, and she slipped it on her finger, very slowly putting her hand under the sun that pours through her kitchen window.</p><p>“Success!”, she yells gleefully, her hand not burning at all. Molly beams and dances under the sun for the first time in three days. “Ah, I’ve missed you sun”, she exclaims. Her happiness is short-lived when there is a knock at her door and a familiar voice calls out.</p><p>“Molly!? I know you’re home because your car is here. Mike said you called out sick for your shift today. I needed your expertise…but…I’m sure it can wait. Are-Are you okay? Are you there?” Sherlock shouts.</p><p>Molly panics and gasps, unsure of what to do, so she stays quiet, hoping he will go away. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy to get rid of Sherlock Holmes. Within moments Sherlock is picking the lock and entering her house. He sees her cowering in her kitchen and furrows his brow, confused.</p><p>“Molly..? I heard you were sick…what’s wrong?”</p><p>“Sh-Sherlock you need to leave right now, I’m super contagious. You need to go, now.”</p><p>“That’s ridiculous, I have an exceptional immune system. Tell me what’s wrong.”</p><p>“Sherlock, go! NOW!”</p><p>He jumps a bit at her harsh tone, and she tears up. “Oh God, I-I’m so sorry- I didn’t mean to snap at you I-I just…”</p><p>Sherlock comes closer and Molly can hear every beat of his heart and rush of his blood pumping through his arteries. Suddenly she is struck with a crushing hunger that can only hope to be controlled, and she smells the most delicious, desirable, mouth-watering scent coming from his veins.</p><p>“Sh-Sher…Sher...” Molly tries to back up more but her back hits the edge of her counter. She lets out a soft whimper and covers her mouth and nose. “Please…Sherlock, please leave!!”</p><p>“Molly I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong with you.”</p><p>Tears fall down her face and she gasps and groans in pain as her fangs grow out from her gums for the first time. Still covering her mouth she pants hard. “I-I can’t…I can’t tell you, but you need to go now!”</p><p>Sherlock swallows hard and his eyes widen. “M-Molly…your eyes…”</p><p>“Wh..what about them??”</p><p>“The…white of your eyes, they’re blood red. Oh God what’s happened to you?”</p><p>Molly covers her face and sobs softly. “Sherlock…I think I’m going to die.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Solemn Decision</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sherlock makes a horrific discovery about Molly; Molly reveals that her time is short; Sherlock vows to save her</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sherlock softens immediately at the throwback of the same words that he himself had used years ago when he had needed her help to survive. “Wh-What do you need, Molly?”</p><p>“I need you to LEAVE. /Please/! I wish you could stay but you can’t, I-I can’t do this!” Molly keeps her face covered and her eyes closed.</p><p>“Molly…I can’t just leave you like this. Please…just tell me what’s wrong. M-Maybe I could help you.”</p><p>“You can’t help me, you can’t!”, Molly breaks down into sobs, a fiery burning in her throat and a strong urge within her to take over him like prey, to sink her fangs deep into his perfect neck, and to feel the most delectably warm and most delicious crimson liquid pour down her throat.</p><p>“I think I can...”, he says in his gorgeous low baritone voice. “Just let me help you, Molly.”</p><p>“You have no idea the danger you’re in.” Molly’s voice goes lower than he has ever heard, and it causes an uneasy feeling inside him, but he persists.</p><p>Sherlock takes another step forward, as he does when approaching his little sister, Eurus. Slowly and cautiously, as to not cause an adverse reaction. He glances down at his feet then looks back up at Molly to find...she’s not there. “Molly??”, he shouts, confusedly. She couldn’t possibly have gone anywhere without walking past him. What the hell happened?</p><p>“M-Molly?” Sherlock looks around and then turns, jumping a mile when he sees her directly behind him. His eyes widen and he stumbles backwards, gasping at the sight in front of him. There she stands, the whites of her eyes bloodshot, the veins under her lower eyelids blue and bulging, and an absolutely hungry and predatory stare in her golden-brown irises. He swallows the gigantic lump in his throat when his gaze drops to her mouth, an almost feral growl emitting from her throat, two long, white, extremely sharp fangs, peeking over her lower lip. “Oh God...wh-“</p><p>“You need to leave /now/”, Molly growls hungrily. “I don’t want to hurt you, Sherlock...but right now, you smell and sound way too delicious, and I have yet to learn much control.”</p><p>“That’s not true. You have the most control I’ve ever seen in one person. You always have. I know you won’t hurt me. I still want to help, but I don’t want to hurt you. Look I-...I’ll move further away, see? I’ll go sit in the sitting room. You can stay in here...just…just…talk to me. Tell me what happened. You’re a...”, he trails off as he sits far away from her in her sitting room. Enough for the burning to dissipate slightly, but not even half. However, Molly takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself and eventually her fangs retract, and her eyes return to normal. The Molly that Sherlock knows and loves returns, her eyes watering in guilt and she chews her lip the way she does when she is nervous or worried.</p><p>“I-I was attacked...”, Molly chokes out, a small sob escaping her. “…on Halloween. I woke up in an alley close to Bart’s. I was walking home because my car wouldn’t start. When I woke up, I couldn’t really remember what happened, but m-my shirt was all bloody...” A few tears fall down her face and Sherlock has to physically hold himself back from rushing over to her and wiping them off her fair cheeks. “I got home and washed up and I didn’t really think much of it. I thought the attacker got scared away because my purse wasn’t touched. I thought I had just cut my head, y’know, because head wounds bleed the worst even when small...”</p><p>Sherlock nods and listens intently. “I’m so sorry, Molly...I wish you would have texted. I could’ve walked you home.”</p><p>“Me too. Uhm…anyway...Toby kept hissing and scratching at me and when I saw myself in my mirror I-I saw the bite mark on my neck. I tried to ignore it but by the next morning my reflection...well, it-…”, Molly looks down sadly. “It wavers a bit. It’s all wonky. I guess it’s because I’m dead, but I’m not…dead, yet. Like, my heart isn’t beating anymore. It never will again.” Tears begin to stream down Molly’s face quickly, and she sits on a seat at her kitchen island. She sniffles and tries to regain her voice as Sherlock’s face falls as well, and she could swear his eyes were watery too.</p><p>“I looked online and, from what I read I have, now, about twenty-four days to drink from a human, or I die forever as the Molly that you and everyone else knew. I don’t know what to do”, she cries. “I don’t want to hurt people, and what about my career? I can’t be a...a vampire and work in a morgue. I deal with blood all day. What kind of life would I have, despite that? I’m technically dead. I won’t grow older, I can’t have children anymore, at some point everyone here will become suspicious and I’ll have to move every couple decades. I don’t think I want that. I just want to be myself again, and that’s not a choice, unless I die at the end of the month with the dignity of my human life.”</p><p>Sherlock sniffs and rubs his face, completely in shock and grief-stricken by her words that her heart is no longer beating and never will again. He internally mourns the loss of his sweet little Molly, with her flushed cheeks and her giddy, yet singsong laugh. Sherlock looks up at her and takes in the way she is now. On the outside she looks pretty much the same aside from the fact she’s a tad paler, which isn’t too noticeable to the naked eye. He cheeks are no longer flushed with that beautiful shade of pink, but her cocoa brown eyes carry the same warmth, love, and compassion that they always have, albeit for the terror and worry within them as well. Molly looks nearly the same in this relaxed state, the only difference is when she is hungry, or, Sherlock assumes is too close to (including anyone human), or sees blood of any kind.</p><p>He can’t possibly think of a world with no Molly Hooper, regardless of her state. It may be selfish of him, but if he can’t have her as a human, he needs her here as what she is now. She’s still here, still carries love in her silent heart, still cares. Whether she believes it or not, the Molly that she believes died when her heart stopped, is in fact still within her, regardless of her now being immortal.</p><p>Leaning back against her sofa and sighing, he thinks about how there is one absolutely incredible thing about her predicament. If he chooses to be with her now, for as long as he humanly can, all the dangerous people from all of his cases, they couldn’t hurt her as revenge on him even if they wanted to. She can never be physically hurt ever again. Sherlock swallows and looks into her eyes from across the room. He lowers his voice and it softens, genuine fear within it. “Molly, I don’t want you to die...I- I don’t think I could ever bear to lose you.”</p><p>Molly looks down at her hands and plays with her daylight ring. She holds it up for him to see. “See this? It’s a daylight ring. This type of blue lapis stone...it carries mystical properties, protection for vampires against rays of the sun. It’s a very old legend that most people think is a myth because most people don’t believe in vampires. If I went outside without it on, I’d be covered in the most painful blisters, and if I were a full vampire, I would burst into flames and turn to ash. I bought it to protect myself from the sun, but then I wondered if I should take it off and just...protect London from myself, at least during the day. I can’t do this. I can’t be...this. This isn’t me. I can’t...I can’t hurt people, to feed myself. I won’t.”</p><p>“Molly...I know that if you just practice, you’ll be able to control it, you’ll be able to blend in. During the day, near humans, maybe even go to work without even a thought of it until you’re hungry. You have access to one of the largest blood banks in London at Bart’s. They get blood donation deliveries daily. You should be able to sneak a few each day to...to keep yourself sustained. I don’t think that would be selfish at all, and it certainly gives you the opportunity to stay alive without the possibility of hurting anyone.”</p><p>“Sherlock, you don’t understand. Firstly, I don’t think I could steal, especially when I know that blood goes to save lives. Lives that deserve to be saved. Secondly, even if the blood bags sustained me...its the thump of hearts…the sound of pumping and rushing blood through a body...and the fresh scent of it...God it drives me mad. I had told you to leave and you stepped closer. I could have attacked you! I could have absolutely feasted on you, or drained you. You have absolutely not clue how ravishing your heartbeat sounds, and how delectable the scent of your blood is. So much so I can nearly taste it in my throat even now. My throat burns with desire and hunger, the need to bite you so badly...I’m afraid if you come any closer to me, or stay here any longer, I may. So you do need to leave, and soon.”</p><p>Sherlock looks at her, unafraid. “I’m not afraid of you, Molly Hooper. Plus, if you did, I’d never have to live in a world without you in it. I never want to.”</p><p>“Sherlock”, her voice cracks a bit.</p><p>“Well I don’t, so you need to feed at some point this month. I will come back, and I won’t stop coming back until you let me help you live in whatever way you can to surpass this month and decades to come. I won’t tell anyone, you have my word.”</p><p>“Sherlock...I know you’re worried, and I know we have been friends, regardless of our rocky history, for a very long time. I know that you’ll be sad for a little while...but I won’t feed, and you can’t make me. I’m choosing to die with my dignity and whatever is left of my soul. I don’t want this.” Tears flow down her face as a couple drop down his. “I’m sorry...but I cannot live like this. Please allow me to die peacefully, and with my goodness. Please.”</p><p>His lower lip trembles a bit and he sniffs, looking into her soft, tear filled eyes. For a moment he is going to succumb to the terrible reality that within three weeks Molly Hooper would be gone forever, because she wanted that, and she deserves to choose her fate. But then he realizes that he is a selfish man, and he won’t lose another friend, not one more.</p><p>“No...I’m sorry but no. I won’t let you. I will not lose you; I refuse. That may make me selfish but that is what I am, I am a disgustingly selfish man. Molly Hooper you will NOT die on me. That’s unacceptable. That won’t do because it was true, and it’s always been true. I love you. I said it before and I’ll say it again, and I will prove to you that human or immortal, you are worth saving, because you are still my Molly, our Molly. You are still kind, and generous, and loving, and...and...I need you in my life regardless of whether you are immortal or not. I just need you. I’ve always needed you and I can’t possibly see a time in the near future where I won’t need you. So too damn bad. I will make you want to live. Mark my words.” Sherlock gets up and leaves, hailing a cab and hopping into it as Molly watches after him through her kitchen window in shock, tears slowly making a trail down her face as she solemnly closes her eyes.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A Turn For The...Worse?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Time is nearly up for Molly Hooper, who has spent time researching what it means to be a vampire, as well as preparing her will and last wishes. However, things take a turn for the (worse?) when Sherlock shows up to say a not-so-goodbye to his faithful friend.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Twenty-six days later, Molly is still in her home. She was lucky to have rarely ever taken a vacation from her job, so she had weeks saved up. A few times in the past weeks, the hunger had completely overcome her, and she had resorted to going outside only to drink the blood from small animals, such as a groundhog, squirrel, and even a dying bird. She shudders in utter disgust just thinking about how she felt and how gross the smells were once she had drained them. As of right now, she hadn't fed for nearly a week, refusing to kill anymore creatures for next to no result. She can feel her body deteriorating and dying, as her thirty days of being a fledgling are nearly up. Her partly mortal body will die soon for good and Molly Hooper will be no more on this Earth. </p><p>She feels a heavy feeling of sadness and fear, but in the end the damn hunger always wins out over the rest. Molly shuffles over to her mirror, the reflection of herself still wonky. Despite that, she can make up how shockingly pasty her skin looks, how brittle her hair has become, and how purplish grey her lips have turned. Under them, her sharp fangs peek out, signaling the intense burning hunger that she feels within herself.  She looks like a walking corpse, despite her razor-sharp fangs. Then again, she realizes, she basically is a walking corpse. </p><p>Sherlock had come by many, many times in the past three weeks, trying to get her to open the door and let him in, which she refused. She didn't want to take the risk of hurting him, of feasting on him. He matters too much to her to ever harm him, or even risk harming him. It wasn't an option. </p><p>However, she had done more extensive research on vampirism during her self-quarantine. She found this website based on people who claim they are real vampires, there to help other real vampires (who weren't the evil murdering type). Molly found out that you can feed from humans without turning them. The only way to properly infect someone with vampirism is to bite very deeply into the carotid artery in the neck, which isn't necessary just to feed, as human skin is delicate and will bleed with even a soft bite. When biting deeply into the carotid, a vampire's saliva, venom, and their victim's blood mix to create the vampirism virus. If you are conscious, it’s extremely painful and feels like you're being burned alive. If you are unconscious, as Molly was (luckily?), you usually don't feel it because the vamp who turned you most likely meant to only drain you, and you are very weak. Usually this will be a new vamp who is not familiar with the specifics of feeding on humans. If a vampire is purposely trying to turn someone, it's best to turn them then immediately kill them quickly (such as a snap of the neck with superspeed/strength), so they won't feel the pain.</p><p>The venom spreads so fast through their bloodstream that it would take over the body before the heart or brain stopped sending electrical pulses through it. However, if you are trying to turn someone (or if you weren’t trying to but did), and had drank a large amount or nearly drained them and they are now unconscious, it may take them hours to wake up as a fledgling. This depends on how drained of blood they were, how long it takes the venom to reach the heart and brain as well as their DNA, due to lack of blood supply, and how long the venom will take to refill their blood supply. Vampire venom does has healing agents, which is why dead victims who are turned immediately thereafter are turned, and don’t stay dead. The fact that Molly survived her attack and was turned instead of dead and drained was simply a fluke by the vamp who attacked her. Molly wonders if he or she got scared off before he could completely finish her off, as well as if he actually meant to turn her. </p><p>She must have read for hours the other day; about her speed, her strength, how to compel a human (to make them do your will without remembering), and how her blood can heal a human with one taste. Molly admits to herself that if she were a terrible person, she'd have the inclination to finally make Sherlock hers with compulsion...but she's not a terrible person, and she'd never do anything to him against his will. It is a bit comforting to know that she could heal him if he were hurt though. In another paragraph, it told her that some humans are more susceptible to a vampire bite and may actually take some pleasure from being fed on, especially if they already have feelings for the vampire, or are conditioned to bask in the supernatural or other oddities. Molly chews her lip, wondering if Sherlock would fit that category—not that she would EVER bite him or hurt him!</p><p>Her fangs finally go away, even as she sighs with frustration and thirst. Molly walks over to her coffee table, looking at the array of paperwork spread out among it. This was another thing she was working on while stuck in her home. Her will, her last wishes, the method in which she would like to be buried-- low cost wooden coffin, because in her mind it's ridiculous to spend thousands on a fancy box you'll never feel or see. She opted not to go for cremation, since she knows all too well the feeling of her skin burning. No thanks.</p><p>She left her assets to her little brother, of whom she never told of her upcoming demise. Molly doesn't think that she would be able to handle saying goodbye to him, or anyone else for that matter. The important thing is that Sherlock knows so that he can find her body when her time has finally lapsed, and she is no longer. She put in her will that she did not want an autopsy yet wonders what they will rule her death as. Usually when it's so unknown, they rule as suicide. Of course, she thinks, Sherlock will never let that stand, as he knows she would never do that to the people she cares about. Not to Matty and not to her friends. Maybe they could just blame it on some sort of undiscovered disease...that would technically be true. Vampirism is a sort of disease, however incurable. </p><p>As Molly signs the last of the paperwork and places it into a neat file, she runs a hand through her hair, a small clump coming out into her hand. She sighs sadly and throws it away. Suddenly she hears the familiar pounding on her door. Her lids close in resentment, wanting more than anything to let him in, per usual, but knowing in her heart that she can't without putting the man she loves in danger.  </p><p>"Go away Sherlock!" she tries to shout, her voice extremely scratchy and dry with burning hunger. </p><p>"Molly, let me in! I need to see you. Please."</p><p>"No. Go away. You can pick up my body in a few more days."</p><p>"Molly...please", he sounds choked up, in uncharacteristic grief. "Please. I need to see you, even if it's one last time...I- I need to talk to you."</p><p>Molly tears up and rubs her face. "I can't...you know I can't. It's not about strength or will anymore. It's about real danger to you. It's about me not being able to stop myself anymore if you step foot in here. I-I haven't fed for a week, and going by the animals I have fed from, it's like I haven't really fed in a month. I am absolutely, uncontrollably starving. You can't come in...", her breath speeds up as his heartbeat registers and thumps loudly in her ears, jumping a bit when he hears her pain.</p><p>"I don't care. I told you I won't let you die. I can't let you die. After everything I've ever done to you, and how far we have come, I cannot lose you now, Molly. Please, I can't. I have been doing extensive research and...and...I trust you completely. I know you won't kill me. I know you won’t even turn me. But you /can/ feed from me. You have done so so much for me in the past. Please let me do this for you...please."</p><p>"Why?" Molly snaps darkly. "So you can be my savior again? So you can swoop in like superman and save poor, miniscule, sucker, Molly Hooper?"</p><p>"No. So I can say thank you. So I can repay you. Molly, I know you don't want to die. Please Molly...please just let me in."</p><p>"I'm already dead, Sherlock. Feeding won't change that. Like I said before, what would that even mean for my life? I couldn't possibly have a normal life anymore."</p><p>"You can for as long as possible. I'll...I'll make sure of it. I'll be there as you work, as you ease into society. I'll be your personal blood bag. I'll curb your cravings. Let me repay you for all the years you have done everything for me. Just let me."</p><p>Molly stays quiet and curls up, the burning in her throat gaining traction and she listens intently to his pounding heartbeat. It pumps to such a desperate and needy beat; such a sad, wanton rhythm. Before her brain even registers what he’s done, Molly smells the delicious scent of him, and the slight taste of his blood within her senses. She hisses in warning and involuntarily speeds off of her couch and upright; her fangs out and threatening, her sclera blood red, and the veins under her lower lids dark blue and bubbling under her skin. "Get...out...Sherlock."</p><p>
  
</p><p>Sherlock swallows and closes her door, looking at her pleadingly holding his hand out in an attempt to calm her or ease her anger. "J-Just...just hear me out. I know this hurts you, and I don't want to hurt you, Molly."</p><p>Molly licks her lips, baring her fangs at him, still in her predatory form. "I...I can't control this anymore Sherlock...please go before I kill you."</p><p>"You won't kill me. If there is one person I have implicit trust in, even as a vampire, it's you Molly. A-And if you really do choose to die, I...I need you to know that I love you. I know...I know that Sherrinford happened and we are past that and we are or were on great terms again, but I want to solidify that it's true. That hasn't changed just because you have. In fact, it's pretty classic that I discover my feelings the second you become immortal huh...", he rubs the back of his neck awkwardly as he sadly watches the very heart of Molly Hooper come out of her in the form of large tears released from her blood red eyes. </p><p>"Y-You know how I feel about you...but I can't do this. Not now, not ever. Not anymore. You have to go before I attack you because it burns so much...the thirst...the impulse to attack you is building....please GO!!" she screams at him. "LEAVE! GO, NOW HURRY!!", her voice cracks, the guilt and pain seeping out into her fiercely protective but harsh words. </p><p>Instead of leaving, Sherlock steps closer to her, seeing how gaunt and pasty she looks from lack of sustenance. Molly stumbles back and pants hard, hissing at him again in warning. "I'm not afraid of you, Molly. I'm not..." Sherlock murmurs softly and deeply. "Let me help you..."</p><p>Molly shakes her head hard and tries to scare him away, her attempts failing as Sherlock reaches her and very carefully cups her face. Molly breathes hard, her long, sharp fangs longing for his pulse, yet her moral goodness and heart makes her lean into his warm touch, her eyes fluttering closed. Sherlock swallows hard and softly brushes his thumbs over the bubbling veins coming from her eyelids down to the top of her cheeks. Looking over her face, he slowly leans in and kisses her, being careful of her fangs. Molly gasps sharply and her fangs temporarily retract as she kisses him back hungrily and deeply, drinking in the mere scent of his skin and taste of his tongue. </p><p>Sherlock groans softly and kisses back with passion, pulling her cool body against his hot one, continuing to snog her desperately. After a moment, Molly's hunger overcomes her again and she speeds them over to the wall, pushing Sherlock hard against it and pinning him there with her strength. Sherlock stares at her with a new, lustful look in his eyes, which are very dilated. Molly captures his lips again hard and resumes snogging him, roaming her hands over his torso. Her cool hands, separated by only the thin fabric of his shirt, nearly electrify him and he slips his hands under her tee, stroking her chilly sides with his warm hands. Molly moans seductively and keeps kissing until her fangs come out again. As they do, Sherlock nudges her away in order for him to breathe, which Molly no longer has use for. However, one of her fangs nicks his lip and he gasps softly at the cut. </p><p>Molly stares and her jaw drops. She quickly covers her mouth and fangs, staggering backwards. The scent of even that tiny bead of blood upon his perfectly sexy oxbow lips is completely overpowering. She whines and looks petrified, her eye veins bulging more than they had before. Sherlock pants hard with arousal and adrenaline, leaving the spot of blood upon his lower lip. </p><p>"I am yours to take, Molly Hooper. Please drink...I need you around for a very long time. Please...please. Let me do this for you Molly." His voice is very deep and velvety; extremely enticing. Molly whimpers and slowly moves closer to him again, losing her fighting battle to deny herself his blood. The glorious, glimmering red bead on his lip calls to her senses, forcing her to listen to every single predatory instinct she has. </p><p>Molly growls and speeds over to him, grabbing him close. Sherlock gasps at the quickness, then soon moans her name as Molly hungrily sucks his lower lip. Sherlock sinks his fingers into her hair. When Molly pulls away from his lip, fiercely frustrated by the lack of bloodstream there, Sherlock gently guides her head to his neck, tilting it to the side and urging her forward gently.</p><p>"Drink...I am yours. Let me help you, let me show you how much I care. I trust you with my life Molly Hooper. Drink..." his low baritone murmurs and reverberates in her sensitive eardrums. </p><p>
  
</p><p>Molly hisses hungrily and finally gives into the raging hunger, holding his body tightly and biting into his neck, being very careful and reminding herself over and over not to bite too deeply, despite her desperate need for his warm, tantalizing blood in her throat. She drinks from him hungrily, a gigantic wave of warmth and ecstasy washing over her entire being. His blood is like a drug, the most delicious thing she has ever tasted, and absolutely, dangerously addictive. </p><p>Sherlock grimaces at the initial pain then strokes her thickening and softening hair, gently encouraging her. A wave of pleasure washes over him as she sucks at his neck and swallows his blood, and he allows his eyes to slip closed as lustful moans escape his now plumper lips. "Molly...mmm...ohhh Molly...", he pants. Her fingertips grip the flesh of his bicep and shoulder hard enough to bruise, but he doesn't even mind, soaking up every single moment of this perilously intimate moment with her, his adrenaline completely maxed out in this euphoric feeling. </p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Three Years Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Molly becomes a full vampire. Will she accidentally harm Sherlock, or ever forgive him for enticing her to feed?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Time seems to stand still and speed by all at once as Sherlock realizes he has given himself over to Molly. He knew it was the right thing to do. Hell, Molly was an incredible, strong, kind, and /good/ person. Vampire or no, she would never purposely attack anyone. This was the right choice. The only plausible choice. Plus he couldn't just lose her know the moment they had finally come together, realizing that they could be something, realizing that their love shouldn't be ignored or put by the wayside anymore. It is a bit daunting, knowing in his heart that her own is no longer beating. </p><p>He has a particularly hard time making sense of that aspect, out of everything he knows now, that's what haunts him. Reason being that to Sherlock, Molly was always all heart, even despite how incredibly intelligent she is. If anyone had asked him to give out symbols for the people he knew, Molly's would have been a heart without any hesitation. It hurts his own to think about the stillness of it now, as it defined everything he thought about her. However, his mind knows that your heart actually has nothing to do with your emotions or personality. He smiles as he looks around the special room he has created for her in his mind palace. It's so warm and comforting. Everything Molly. A safe haven; a bolt hole within his messy mind. </p><p>Suddenly he sees flashes of red and an alarm as his mind goes into an "alert mode" and he realizes that he has been drifting there for some time. Pulling himself out of it, he feels very weak. His vision is blurry and his breathing is labored. </p><p>"M-Mo...Moll.." he murmurs weakly, realizing that she is still drinking from him quite needily. Unfortunately, if she doesn't stop soon there won't be much of him left to help her later. "Molly...Molly...I-I think that's enough now...M-Moll..." His body slouches back against the wall as his legs wobble and slowly give.</p><p>Molly forcefully removes herself from his neck, her eyes ablaze with sensation and her mouth stained with his blood, a bit trickling down the sides and where her fangs lay. "Oh God...Sherlock...I-..." </p><p>Sherlock sags to the floor and groans a bit, his head groggy and a feeling of dizziness washing over him. Molly speeds into her kitchen and quickly wipes off her face once her fangs disappear, then returns to him with a warm washcloth, holding it to the bite. "Sherlock...Sherlock I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry...I-I don't know why I didn't stop, I wanted to stop...I-I was so hungry..."</p><p>He places a hand on her knee and lifts his head to look at her. If he thought she was beautiful before, now she is absolutely radiant. Her pale skin is perfect, no wrinkles or marks; the small chicken pox scar from her childhood is gone. Her honey-brown eyes are sparkling and full of vividness. Her beautiful auburn hair which was so thin and brittle mere moments ago is now thick and shiny as ever. She looks a lot more like an angel than anything undead. Blinking a few times, he moves his hand on top of her cooler one. "I understand. And you did stop, you stopped when you realized I needed you to. I don't imagine many vampires have that kind of restraint, Molly. You have nothing to be sorry for. I hope it was enough for now, even though I doubt it was. So I'm sorry."</p><p>Molly shakes her head and sits next to him on the ground, cuddling close but gently wiping the bite mark of excess blood. "That's ridiculous you've nothing to be sorry for, you just saved my ass, so to speak."</p><p>Sherlock smiles softly, knowing she is trying her best to be tough and make light of this, however in pure Molly fashion, he knows the sadness over the literal loss of her life is still hurting her inside. Ignoring the fact that her skin is cold, he pulls her close and holds her. She tears up and curls up in his arms. "Molly...you don't have to pretend with me. I thought we were done pretending. You can tell me anything. I know you're still grieving, and this is a huge change."</p><p>Tears fall down her face slowly. "You would think that I'd enjoy this...every single sense heightened to nearly the maximum, super speed, and hearing and strength. I'll never feel cold again because I am cold. I'll have to drink cups and cups of coffee just to warm myself enough for my skin to feel normal to other people. I could make people do my bidding, or forget anything I want them to forget. It's too much. I didn't want it. I didn't want to be...this. I was just too scared to..." she trails off. </p><p>Sherlock cups her face gently. "You were scared to die for good. I know. But you have this second chance. I know you aren't all the same. I know there are things you'll have to learn and things that will be so much harder to control than the trivial stuff of being human. But this world would not be as good as it is without you in it. You make my life tolerable. I told you I am a selfish man, and it's true. I need you here with me. I need you Molly. Because what you are, it doesn't really matter. I know you, and I know how incredible you are and how much more incredible you can be once you control this. I will help you. I owe you so much more than you could ever know."</p><p>"I'm not the woman you came to terms with loving anymore though...", her eyes are filled with tears. "I'm a nightmare now. I'm a danger."</p><p>"Molly, you are absolutely the same woman I came to love. I have lived through many a nightmare and I can tell you with a hundred percent certainty that you are not one of them. Also, when the hell have I ever run from danger? It's exciting."</p><p>Molly chuckles slightly at that, wrapping her arms as carefully as she can around his middle. "How are you feeling...?"</p><p>"Weak, but I'll be alright. What about you?"</p><p>"I'm fine for the moment...I'm scared of hurting you."</p><p>"Molly. You didn't hurt me, and honestly I am in awe of your restraint. I think that due to your nature, you'll have an easier time of this than anyone else. Not easy, but you certainly are not vicious or violent. You have amazing control and you're new. I think you can do this, and still have your life."</p><p>Molly sniffles and rests her head on his chest, the strong thumping of his heart comforting her, and not enticing her to feed the way it had before. She gently caresses over it with her cool fingers, making him shudder slightly. "Sherlock, treasure your life...it's gone before you know it."</p><p>Sherlock scoffs sadly. "I've heard that phrase before. John thought it was Irene that I was in love with, but it was you. He said that being in a relationship would complete me as a human being. That I was foolish because the woman I loved is out there, alive, and she likes me. That I hadn't the faintest damn idea how lucky I was. He said that it's gone before you know it. He was speaking out of grief for Mary, but he was right. It is gone before I know it. But in a way, I am luckier than any other man on Earth because I'll never go through the grief of losing you again, Molly. You never have to die, ever. You can literally live forever until the world implodes in on itself. In a way, it'll never be gone before I know it, because I can't lose you. Not now and not ever."</p><p>Molly cries softly. "But I am gone, I am. My life is over, I'm a creepy shell with no soul. I'm evil."</p><p>Sherlock's eyes well with tears at her words. "Don't you dare say that, that is not true. It may not be beating, but Molly Hooper, by God you have the biggest, most working heart in the entire world. You are the absolute furthest thing from evil, do you hear me??" He cups her face and brings it close to his. "You. are. not. evil. You never will be. You are too good, and too kind."</p><p>Molly's lip trembles as she looks at him with fear and sadness. "I-I'm scared of myself. I don't..I can't do this...I wanted to die. Why did you make me feed, I wanted to die like a person. I wanted to die with my soul. I can't die like this, if I do, I'll burst into flames and disappear. I-I won't make it..."</p><p>Sherlock sniffs and strokes her cheeks. "Yes, you will. Molly, you will. If anyone deserves that it’s you, if heaven even exists. And if it does and you of all people aren't let in, it's not a place you'd want to be anyway. You are still good. I know you have a soul, even if your heart isn't beating. Because I know you. If you didn't have a soul, you'd be vicious, murderous, you'd be a monster. But you aren't and you won't be because you're too good. I love you, Molly. I love you, and I mourn with you. But you're still here and I'm so glad that you are." He leans in and places a soft kiss to her lips as tears fall down her face. </p><p>"I can't be a vampire and be good...even on TV if they start out good, they always snap. Even the likeable ones. I can't go to church or I'll burn...I'm inherently evil no matter how kind I am."</p><p>"Says who?"</p><p>"Says...the world."</p><p>"This isn't TV, Molly. I think if anyone can pull off being a sweet and kind and loveable vampire, it's you. As for feeding, I told you that I'm here for you. You will learn as you go. You'll learn control, though I think your specific gift is high resistance, since you didn't instinctively bleed me dry like most new vampires would, because they have no control. You'll learn how much you can drink, how to keep your temperature up to look and feel pretty much human, how to control your strength, because you nearly broke my arms earlier", he chuckles lightly. "The point is, you learn quickly, I've always known that about you. I don't think this is any different. It'll be hard at first, I won't lie to you. Seeing all that blood at work...it's going to be a really hard challenge day in and day out for a while. But I know you can do it."</p><p>Molly leans her forehead on his. "I miss feeling already..."</p><p>"Feeling what?"</p><p>"Feeling warm or cold...I used to wrap myself in so many blankets. Remember you used to tease me because I was always cold, but worked in a morgue?" She smiles sadly. </p><p>Sherlock looks a bit sad but scoots closer, gently cupping her face again with his warm hands. "You can feel this, right? The warmth from my hands?"</p><p>Molly tears up and nods slowly. "Yes..."</p><p>"What about this?", he murmurs softly and places his lips on hers, tilting her head just a bit as their lips move together. Her eyes flutter softly, and she strokes his cheek as well, their tongues gently brushing. They both moan softly and pull away. </p><p>"Y-yes...of course."</p><p>He smiles softly and holds her hands. "You're already warming up a bit from the blood. Plus, I can handle chilly, Molls."</p><p>"I didn't mean to hurt you earlier...your arms, I mean. I-I don't know how to control it. The one thing I've had over my life was control, and now I don't and it's the worst thing about this."</p><p>"We can practice. Maybe I can fill up some water balloons and I'll just toss them at you. You'll learn as you go. Same with speed. I'll throw something and you can try to get there. Not quite sure how to test your mind control thing though. Research didn't say much about it except that you have to gaze deep into someone's eyes and make a suggestion to them."</p><p>Molly sighs and rubs her face out of habit, then gasps. "I just realized that I don't need contacts or glasses anymore. I have perfect vision."</p><p>"You have perfect everything. Hair, nails, vision, skin."</p><p>Molly looks down again. "I can't see it...I have no reflection; I have no real soul. Maybe me being nice was just my personality."</p><p>"Which is believed to be an outward extension of a soul. You really can't see your reflection?"</p><p>"I-I don't think so...it was wonky when I was in between human and vampire, I think it's probably gone now, like me."</p><p>"Stop talking like that, alright? I'll take a video of you. You can see yourself in those, right?"</p><p>She nods slowly. "I can't imagine making a video of myself every time I want to put on makeup or earrings. That's such an inconvenience."</p><p>"I'm sorry, love."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I said I'm sorry about that."</p><p>"No...what did you say...after that."</p><p>Sherlock blushes. "Er...yeah, sorry. Uh, I guess it slipped. I'm not usually big on pet names."</p><p>Molly smiles genuinely, temporarily forgetting about her situation and Sherlock grins. "You're smiling."</p><p>"I can't help it, I never imagined...that."</p><p>"Me neither. See what you do to me, Molly Hooper? I want to be the man you already thought I could be. I want this, us."</p><p>Her smile fades and she looks down. "Sherlock..."</p><p>"We don't have to worry about the age thing for years. I'm already two years older than you, and even another few wouldn't make me look /that/ much older so that you're noticeable. We have years, Molly."</p><p>Molly looks at him hesitantly. "I don't know..." She gets up and paces.</p><p>"What do you mean, you don't know? Molly we have been working toward this for as long as I can remember. We can finally be together."</p><p>"But not really. Because I'm this now. This is not our happy ending, Sherlock Holmes. This...this isn't the way I wanted it to be." Her voice cracks with emotion and she turns away. "None of this is."</p><p>Sherlock gets up slowly and wraps his arms around her middle. "I know that. I know you're upset. I know you wanted a normal life...a family", he says softly, and her eyes fill with tears.</p><p>"We could always adopt children, or we could find a surrogate...if and when the time comes for us to decide that."</p><p>Molly turns to him, her jaw slack. "Sherlock, I don't even know if I want to be with you, and you're talking about kids? Our potential kids?"</p><p>"Molly..."</p><p>"No, Sherlock. I don't...I don't know if I can date you for five or six years just to leave you. I don't think I could make myself leave you, or my home", she sniffs. "It'll only be harder to move on if I date you. Once I'm with you, there's no way I could let you go. But I'll need to because you'll age, and I won't. I can't have that happy ending. We can't be that old couple sitting on rockers on their porch talking about their grandchildren. I can't ever be that", she cries. "I love you, but I'm stuck like this forever, and you're not. You can have that with someone else."</p><p>"I don't want someone else. I want you. Hell...if we can't be that old couple talking about our grandchildren, we can be that middle-aged couple who talks about cadavers and..and the way bankers pin their ties too tight for no reason."</p><p>Molly giggles a bit through her sob. "For how long though...like I said. You'll age."</p><p>"Unless I don't."</p><p>"Sherlock!"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Molly shakes her head. "I'm not even entertaining that."</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>"Because."</p><p>"Because why?"</p><p>"Because...because I can't! I could never take your life away from you. Never."</p><p>"What if I wanted you to, to be with you forever? I wouldn't be able to be your blood bag anymore, but maybe we could figure out something else. Molly, you're the one that said London couldn't function without me around."</p><p>"I-I meant during your normal lifetime."</p><p>"Who'll you have after all our friends die, hm?"</p><p>She sniffs. "Sherlock, I'm not talking about this."</p><p>Sherlock turns her around and holds her shoulders. "Look at me. Three years, ok? Give me three years, and yourself the chance to learn control. In three years, I want you to turn me. I want to be y your side as long as we decide to be here."</p><p>A tear falls and she runs her fingers through his curls. "Three years..."</p><p>"Promise me."</p><p>"What? No I-I can't promise. I can't..."</p><p>"Molly, please. I mean it. Please, I want to be with you."</p><p>She sighs and swallows hard. "Three years, and we'll talk about this again. That's all I can promise."</p><p>"Fine. I'll convince you during this time then. But for now, I can learn too by helping you learn control. I'm just going to go bandage my neck."</p><p>"You don't need to..."</p><p>"Hm?"</p><p>"Vampire blood has healing properties because it has the venom within it, but a tiny bit isn't enough to turn you, only heal the area of a wound, because it technically keeps me immortal. Basically immortality is just constant healing, so you never grow old." Molly goes into her kitchen and grabs a small knife, slicing her palm. Surprisingly, it doesn't hurt much. As blood comes to the surface, she holds her palm over the bite, then removes it. His bite wound heals slowly until it's gone, as well as Molly's hand. Sherlock watches her palm in awe. </p><p>He kisses her deeply as she gasps a bit, melting into the kiss and snaking her arms very cautiously around his shoulders, kissing back. They snog heatedly for a moment before Sherlock needs air and they pull back panting softly. </p><p>"Three years", he murmurs.</p><p>Molly brushes her lips against his hesitantly. "Three years..."</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Heaviness Of A Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Molly successfully finishes her third autopsy with Sherlock's support.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sherlock shivers in the cold of the morgue, cringing slightly as Molly pulls her fangs out of the sensitive flesh of his neck, and then bites her own hand to heal him with her immortal blood.</p><p>“I’m sorry”, she says sheepishly, wiping her mouth off with a paper towel and balling it up in her fist, throwing it into the bin. Still learning how to curb her thirst for him, sometimes she still takes a bit too much, leaving him woozy and unsteady on his feet. Molly speeds over to him in a flash, quickly catching him before he falls. “Sherlock!”, she gasps.</p><p>“I-I’m fine, Molly. Really. Don’t worry.”</p><p>“You’re weak. I took too much...”</p><p>“You were hungry. You need to feed. I’ll be alright.”</p><p>Molly chews her lip, a worrisome look on her perfect face. “It’s been over a month. Why can’t I get it right?”</p><p>Sherlock steadies himself, using one of the empty slabs to haul himself up. “You can. You will. I’m not completely passed out, right? Weak is okay. I’ll recover.”</p><p>Shrugging, she finishes up her autopsy. It’s only her third one since becoming a vampire. They have been extremely difficult, and Sherlock has been finding himself at Bart’s more and more often, attempting to help her through the cravings. Especially since autopsies include a lot of blood flow. Molly chews her lip as she works, the veins under her eyes bubbling as blood seeps from the body. She takes the heart and weighs it, then places it in the proper place. Even though she is sated for the moment, the smell and movement of blood still triggers her vampiric side.</p><p>Sherlock watches her closely and walks over when he feels steadier on his feet. “You’re doing so well, Molls. I promise. Deep breath in, then slowly release it. You can do this.”</p><p>Molly nods and takes a deep breath, very slowly letting it out to calm herself. The veins slowly fade away and he smiles at her.</p><p>“See? You did it. It’s only been a month and you have made so much progress. You know why? Because you’re a good person, and you’d never hurt someone on purpose. You are inherently good, Molly Hooper. You have so much control, I am so in awe of you.”</p><p>She tears up a bit and looks at him. Sherlock gently cups her face and presses a soft kiss to her lips, stroking her cool cheeks. Eagerly kissing back, she hums against his lips contentedly. “Thank you”, she whispers, pulling away. “You really help me. I don’t think I could still do this without you.”</p><p>“You’re welcome. I’ll always help you; you know that. You have done so much for me in the past and even in the present Molly. I love you...I hope that’s very apparent by now.”</p><p>A few more tears fall down her face. “I know you do. I love you too...it’s just...”</p><p>“What...?”</p><p>“My life is still over...I-I know it’s probably stupid cause I would’ve died anyway but...I wanted children Sherlock. I wanted to be a mum some day and that’s never a possibility now. Ever.”</p><p>“Molly, we could always adopt...”</p><p>She scoffs sadly. “Yeah, sure...a vampire adopting a human child? Not only would I inherently be putting them in danger by just being with me, but you’re forgetting that they are going to grow up, and I’m not. How is it going to look when they’re in their twenties and I’m still thirty-four, huh?”</p><p>Sherlock looks down a bit, forgetting about that part for a minute. “Right. Well...I don’t know. Not to sound crazy but...maybe we can somehow find orphans who are dying of diseases and y’know...”</p><p>“Sherlock! We couldn’t do that, it’s unethical and...and just...horrible.”</p><p>“I suppose...but we would be saving them, and if the folklore on the dark net that I’ve read is true, they grow to be an adult vampire at rapid speed. Nearly a full year every couple weeks or so...and they only grow to adulthood, luckily their mind matures with them too. Around eighteen to twenty. Then they stop growing like a turned adult…like you. They could still be good members of society like you are, Molly.”</p><p>“And if they aren’t like me? If they become too thirsty and uncontrollable? If they become murderers?? I can’t take that chance. Plus, as I said, it unethical and immoral. I cannot turn a child. Whether they’re dying or not. It’s just wrong...they’re innocent children. That’s too much.”</p><p>“Okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, it was just a hypothetical.” Kissing her head, he smiles softly. “Look, you’re almost done with your third autopsy. You got through it, and you’ll get through thousands more until you don’t even have to think about needing a break.”</p><p>Molly smiles slightly. “Oh, wow I didn’t even realize I was still working while talking to you.”</p><p>“Molly, it’s so ingrained into your mind at this point that you probably could do it with your eyes closed, in super speed.”</p><p>She laughs and nudges him gently. “I won’t be trying /that/.”</p><p>“Maybe not.”</p><p>Her smile quickly fades as she looks down at the corpse on her slab. There’s something empty in her eyes and Sherlock tips her chin. “Molly? What’s wrong?”</p><p>“I just um...”, her eyes water. “Sherlock...what made me more deserving than anyone who comes across my slab to gain immortality? There’s something so terribly wrong about this picture. I-I’m technically dead...but so are they. Why...why do I get to still be here? How do I get past all of this guilt and all of this grief that I feel? I always felt bad for the people I did autopsies on, but now it’s not just empathy. I feel so guilty...and the grief over losing all my life could have been I always under the surface too. I’m just...I’m sad all the time, honestly.” Tears begin to flow down her face and Sherlock strokes them away soothingly. “Molly, it’s going to take time. All of this is still so new. I know I can’t change anting that’s happened to you, but I can be here for you, and I plan to be.”</p><p>“I know, I know you are.” She scoffs sadly. “I’d say my heart is heavy, but I guess that could be taken literally since it’s a cold, unworking thing inside of me...but the average weight of a human heart is about 300 grams so...not very heavy at all.”</p><p>“Hey. Molly...the way people think of hearts and connect them to feelings is a ridiculous notion anyway. Your heart doesn’t make you who you are, okay? Molly, who you are...it’s always been there, and it always will be. I know you believe in the idea of a soul. Your soul is still the kindest, purest, selfless consciousness that makes you, you. Nothing will ever change that.”</p><p>Molly sniffles and looks up at him, nodding slowly. “How are you feeling? I’m sorry again. I...I really hate hurting you. I know you say my bite doesn’t hurt much, but I know you’re just being strong for my sake. You’re still human. I’ve known you for years and years. You always play tough.”</p><p>He shrugs and rubs her back. “I have to not be selfish. That’s good for me. You know how selfish I was for years.”</p><p>“But I could really hurt you. Obviously, I wouldn’t on purpose, but...it could happen. And I’m not even talking about bruises. I’m talking broken bones, even death. You’re like glass to me now. It’s so hard...I love you so much...”</p><p>“Molly...”, he cups her face and looks into her eyes. “I’m stronger than your fear. I’ve had broken bones, I’ve had bruises, and cuts, and even a bullet. I’ve been tortured and battered. I promise you, nothing you could do to me accidentally could be worse than some of the shit I have been through. I absolutely promise you that.”</p><p>Molly snaps her latex gloves off and tosses them in the bin, then puts the body into the correct compartment. She returns and cuddles him carefully. Sherlock holds her in his arms and lets her rest against his chest for a moment. “Promise?”</p><p>“Mhmm.”</p><p>She smiles sadly and strokes his chest. “Your heartbeat used to make me thirsty and monstrous...it doesn’t anymore. It calms me because I know you’re still safe. You’re still alright.”</p><p>Sherlock strokes through her hair. “I’m glad it makes you feel calm. I do still want to be with you one day though. If we were equals, just imagine how incredible that would be, how incredible that would /feel/.”</p><p>Looking up at him, she purses her lips and furrows her brow. “I don’t want to think of that...I like you as you are. I always have.”</p><p>“Yes, I know that. But imagine the total freeness of it, Molly.” He leans in and kisses her ear, murmuring. “Not to mention how mind-blowing the sex would be if you didn’t have to be careful or hold back.”</p><p>Molly gapes and chews her lip. “Well, yes...but that’s something I can handle...”</p><p>“But you shouldn’t have to just /handle/ it. It should be incredible, and it will be one day.”</p><p>“You’re relentless.”</p><p>“Oh, I know”, he winks.</p><p>Letting out a breath, she pecks his lips softly. “Thanks for being so supportive and being around constantly. I know it can’t be too great for you.”</p><p>“You need me to be around. Soon you won’t. Until then, it's one day at a time, right?”</p><p>She nods and strokes his hand with her cooler one. “How about I lock up and we can go back to my house?”</p><p>“Sounds good”, he grins. “I’m proud of you. I really really am, Molls.”</p><p>Molly beams cutely. “Oh, hush. Do you want Chinese take-out?”</p><p>“God, I’d love some, I’m starved.”</p><p>“Okay. I’m glad that I can at least enjoy the taste of food, even if it doesn’t do anything good or bad to me. I’m sure that’s the dream of a lot of women. Eating without gaining weight”, she snorts.</p><p>Sherlock laughs in his deep baritone. “I’d imagine it is.” He slips his Belstaff back on and waits for her to gather her things. She still wears a coat, as to not look out of place. “Ready?”</p><p>“Ready”, she smiles.</p><p>After locking up, she walks out to her car with him, hand in hand. As difficult as it is to be a vampire, she knows that having Sherlock by her side makes everything a hundred times more bearable in every way. Especially the sadness and grief.   </p>
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